Talk:Four Warriors Cometh (Remastered - Part the First)/@comment-2142396-20190810084744/@comment-2142396-20190830202651
I have a feeling that Ferran and Fragorl's involvement is going to be delightfully messy, considering the hints of the whole Ferran-Fortunata-Bane situation you dropped on DA. In fact, I reread the whole scene between Ferran and Tsarmina with that in mind, and woah, that really changes the perspective. Originally I thought that Tsarmina has some kind of dark magic artifact in her treasury that the Necromancers want, I even thought that it has something to do with Tsarmina's poisoned scepter, but I don't think so now. And since Tsarmina writes a letter to Fortunata immediately after Ferran leaves... I wonder if Shroud is what Ferran asked Tsarmina for? If so, that's pretty mind-blowing. :o Ah, you explained the significance of Brek discovering his family’s history in the tunnels way better than I did, because I felt the same – that Brek honored his grandfather’s fate without turning from his path. :) Oh, I didn’t catch significance of the fact that Mossflowerian leaders are viewed through Whegg’s PoV, but it’s a neat trick indeed, and it creates an interesting dynamic between Whegg and his captors. Though honestly, I don’t think that Amber would appreciate being compared to Tsarmina… ;P Yeah, that’s true about Sayna – I got an impression that after her fiasco with Badrang and Rose’s ‘death’, Sayna would rather allow others to take the leading role, too afraid to fail again if she tries to lead. But after Groddil, she actually has the best leadership skills out of their little group. ;) Ouch, I knew that Tynek had difficulty talking, but I didn’t realize that he practically can’t talk. :o And it’s especially heart-breaking that he was even shunned by other slaves when one would expect them to support each other. And that would mean that Tynek had been completely alone since his grandmother died… I still find it strange that Tynek’s reaction to being found out was to shut down, especially since he seemed to grow afraid even before he faced Ranulf, but I do understand what had happened a little better. Maybe in some twisted way, he still thought of himself as a slave, and it was easier for him to stop struggling… Yes, your progress in writing is amazing! Ah, and I’m glad to hear that you like my writing, too! *hugs* While I’m proud of my dialogues and battle scenes, I always found my descriptions lacking, so that’s why I admire how lovely yours come out. Ah, so the designated PoVs are Sayna, Brek, Whegg and Luna? It’s an interesting choice to limit the number of narrators, so kudos to you for sticking to this decision. I can already see how challenging it could be to write from third person limited, but it does make the story look neat and straightens the storylines. Personally, I just tend to slip between head-hopping and using sort of omniscient PoV. However, I suppose that Rose’s story about what happened at Evenglade during Ripfang’s attack and her time as an oarslave on his ship would still be brought up when she reunites with Sayna? It was quite important to the story, so I expect that it would be at least talked about. Oh dear, I saw on the Lukes’ family tree that Lucius’s wife was only sixteen when she died, but I thought that Lucius himself was a bit older than that. It’s really rough to lose half of your family like that, so yeah, his reaction is more understandable. :( By the way, I like your idea to rename Vurg to Vedan. Are you going to change only his given name or the family name as well? I think you can have ‘the Lukes’ without bringing any associations with original Redwall, but ‘Vurg’ is a name that BJ created. Hmm, so larger creatures have longer lifespans than smaller ones? Heh, as if dragons aging differently didn’t complicate things enough. ;P So basically, Gingi is physically older than Whegg, but mentally they are about the same age? Btw, do foxes and otters also have longer lifespan since they could also be considered larger species? Ha, and I just realized that Bella’s slower aging makes her closer to dragon hatchlings maturity-wise when she was a child, so it was probably easier for her to grow up with Pyralis as a father than if she were a smaller species that grows up quicker. ;D And Groddil would be in his seventies, too, right? I thought he would be, considering that his backstory involves serving Ungatt Trunn, but I was thrown off by how fit and capable Groddil is, even considering his injuries. But since you mentioned on DA that Prophets also tend to live longer than ordinary creatures, I guess that’s the case there. Oh, I love how we can just chat about governing systems of imaginary countries like it’s a serious business. :D Hmm, well, that’s an honest answer, that monarchies are easy to construct/describe. I can see what you mean, because honestly, politics is such a complicated mess that I know I wouldn’t have been glad if I had to research them. ;) Yeah, I think the lack of variety in ruling systems is what was bugging me, though now that you explain them, I see that in many cases I simply didn’t know about how the political power is distributed. Greeneyes Empire and Old Mossflower are probably the only kingdoms with fleshed-out ruling system – you made it clear that Verdauga’s advisers have a say about who sits on the throne, and the fact that the council of Mossflowerian leaders makes important decisions by voting is why I said that they are the closest to forming a parliament. Hmm, but while the collective decision-making can keep a monarch’s external politics in check, are there any laws that would restrict their internal power? For example, when Tynek is under the monocles’ influence in ‘Accused’, is there anything other monarchs or his advisers can legally do to stop him from abusing his own subjects? You haven’t mentioned before that the leaders of the noble houses on Sampetra take part in discussing matters, though since Ublaz usurped the throne in TotO, I can easily imagine him disregarding the practice and becoming a sole ruler. Hmm, that way there’s one more reason for the rebellion of Captains in the beginning of the story – Ublaz stripped the nobles of their power, and that could’ve been the final insult to them. Ooh, and the choosing of Esmerld’s kings sounds so delightfully bloody and bloodily impressive! I bet that would be something worth watching. ;P I also didn’t know that Tavaer’s kings are elected, since it was never brought up in ‘Destiny’, and Konan even flat out referred to Azul as a queen after her uncle’s death. Then again, ‘Destiny’ is pretty much on its ‘in-development’ stage, so I suppose you hadn’t worked out this system yet when you were writing the first chapters. Btw, I like the idea of Tavaer and Askor’s country having elected kings – it makes them noticeably less archaic. ;) And yeah, ‘president’ is a very unfantasy-like title, so you can keep calling them kings or come up with a completely new title. Hmm, how about ‘konung’ for Askor’s kingdom? It’s a Nordic title which would fit well with Askor’s northern culture, I guess, and konungs in real life were semi-elected, since it was a hereditary position that still required consent of the people to rule.